Heroin Road

I found out long ago, oooohhhh It's a long way down the Holiday Road, oooohhhh Holiday Road Holiday Road Jack be nible, Jack be quick, oooohhhh Take a ride on a West Coast kick, oooohhhh Holiday Road Holiday Road Holiday Road Holiday Road I've come back long ago, oooohhhh Long way down the Holiday Road Holiday Road Holiday Road Holiday Road Holiday Road Oooohhhh

It's a long way back from Vegas when your drunk is wearing off and you got a belly full of bad steak.

We spent the time listening to Holiday Road, as made famous by National Lampoon's Vacation.Ý Nonstop for 8 hours.Ý It would've been longer, but it didn't occur to us to play it until kind of late.

I looked up the lyrics and they're credited to some creepy one-hit wonder studio hacks called The Fleetwood Mack.Ý I think that's the same Buckingham chick who wrote songs for the Monkees before choking on a ham sandwich.Ý I don't know if she wrote Henry the VIIth, the best song ever.ÝThere's a neat part in Holiday Road where the bass player fucks up (probably smacked out of his gourd), but no one cared enough to fix it.

Tim and Avel realized that the song was a metaphor for heroin addiction, so we carefully took the song apart:

I found out long ago, oooohhhh
It's a long way down the Holiday Road, oooohhhh

Holiday Road is nothing but some Fleetwoody slang for junk addiction.Ý You know when you hole up in your house for the weekend and stay drunk, waking and drinking and waking and drinking on a little alcoholiday and when Monday rolls around you go to work feeling all refreshed like you just took a mini-vacation, so refreshed you don't even have to shower or shave or brush your teeth?Ý Well it's just like that, only it's a long way, 'cause junkies don't come back. They've got a problem.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, oooohhhh
Take a ride on a West Coast kick, oooohhhh

Jack has got himself a little problem finding his vein.Ý The West Coast kick is slang for a certain type of junk.Ý Brand name if you will.Ý Like China White, Mexican Tar or Velveeta.

I've come back long ago, oooohhhh
Long way down the Holiday Road

Like I was saying, you don't leave junk.Ý Smack.Ý Horse.Ý H.Ý Dope.Ý Dr. Feelgood.Ý Monkey water.Ý Anyway, we all know that heroin leads straight to marijuana addiction.