The Most Complete List of Hogan's Heroes Collectibles

Okay, you don't care what sort of personal Stalag my brain is in, you just want to know what's out there and what it's gonna cost you. Well, this is for you, mein frien. Welcome to The Official World's Most Complete List of Hogan's Heroes Collectibles as maintained by a complete lunatic! Please, if you see something I'm missing, have a picture or have a correction (the going rate on prices is helpful) e-mail me and I'll correct/update it.

First off, let me tell ya'll what condition ratings mean.  This one is a bit of a sore point with me, 'cause well honestly, most of the Great Unwashed suck at this. The collectible crud market is pretty jammed up with okies trying to get rich with beany-babies and Happy Meal (tm) stuff after they lost all their money on pogs. They're the same slack-jawed yokels that figure if it's old, it's worth something.  The phrase "for it's age" doesn't figure into grading!! I was mad about lazy and ignorant grading before eBay, but they've made it much much worse as well as made it much much easier to find Hogan's Heroes stuff.

Condition is graded the SAME on a new comic as it is on an old comic! Toys and other crud are graded a bit different. Condition is the same, new or old. A 30-year-old copy of a Hogan's Heroes comic is graded on the same scale as this month's Batman. But a crease on a comic ain't quite the same as a crease on a model box. There's room for a bit more damage on a box, and while it ain't necessarily all screwed up, it ain't perfect. Is this making sense? A comic just can't afford to lose as much -- the grade applies to individual pages as much as the cover. Really.

Where there's prices, I'm giving what I think is a fair price for pretty danged good condition.

It ain't my fault you're dumb like me and collect Hogan's Heroes stuff. If you are, you know as well as I do, that there just ain't much out there. And finding out what's out there is just as difficult. Am I being paranoid that Brenda Scott Royce's chapter on Hogan collectibles came from this page? Naw, I don't think so. There's also an "official" Hogan page that swiped (and did a better job at finding pictures) of my list. Not even with a thank you to me. I've started adding pictures of items so that people will return to my site to swipe pictures. If the picture is uncredited, it's one of mine. But I'm not above swiping pictures off eBay. If you have a better picture, please email me and I'll put it on here.

Here's a quick guide on condition:

G (Good) = Bad usually. Heavily worn...played with...multiple missing pieces (where applicable). It's damaged goods, baby. You'll notice that doesn't sound like "good" next to any definition that any human being would use. Dealers and collectors are in their own universe.

VG (Very Good) = Better than good, natch. More worn than abused. Missing pieces still common.

F (Fine) = Minor damage is allowed (edge-wear, a split corner, small paper tears (not on comics), some taping (depends on kind of tape, and kind of item) although some fading may exist, items OVERALL should be bright and clean. It should be danged near complete.

VF (Very Fine) = Damage MUST be minimal!! Slight age/edge wear still can exist, and possibly other MINOR flaws.

NM (Near Mint) = Really wants to be mint, but just can't cut it. Just one or two minor things wrong (and once again, "for it's age" means jack!).

M (Mint) = Better than half the stuff you see new on the shelves! Fresh from the shipping box on a sober shift! It's nice, baby. Real nice.

The Comics

• Apples and Oranges/His Children's Parade (Carnation Records) Arranged & Conducted by Jerry Fielding (the guy that did music for HH, Star Trek, Wild Bunch and the Bad News Bears). 7". $10.

• Probably every newspaper in the country ran several HH pictures on the cover of their teevee guide. $5-25 depending on condition, picture and a purely subjective coolness factor.
  Australian guide eBay pic (80k) - Sigrid guide (13k)

Film & Video

• 16mm film prints of episodes distributed to the stations to air the show. $30.
• Columbia House Videos. VHS. Four episodes per tape, $25 new from Columbia. Used, even unopened, about $10.
• CBS Video. VHS. Two episodes per tape, $20. Sheesh, what a rip-off.
• Uncensored All-Star TV Bloopers. 65 minutes VHS tape of teevee bloopers.
• Video of Bob Crane's Sex Acts. These exist, I've seen clips twice, but I don't have any. HBO aired a clip on a documentary.
• Stalag69. Finally, a HH porn. $30 from Kristy's Wild Videos.

Autographs

• John Banner is the hard one to get since he's popular and died soon after the show ended. Well over $100.
• Bob Crane. I paid $20 for an Xmas Card, and $95 for a Beginner's Luck handbill made out to Dave.
• Werner Klemperer.
• Leon Askin.
• Howard Caine.
• Robert Clary. Order his CD from him and ask him to sign it. $15-$20. (10k pic)
• Richard Dawson.
• Ivan Dixon.
• Bernard Fox.
• Larry Hovis.
• Cynthia Lynn.
• Sigrid Valdis.
• Kenneth Washington.

Scripts

• Photocopied scripts range from $5-10.
• Original scripts. I'd guess $35-50.

• Pictures and plot thrown together for local papers to push the show. $20 each sounds swell.
• Other weird promo stuff was mentioned in Miss Royce's book, but not explained.

• Membership card

• Coffee mug. I've heard $12.
• Boxer shorts. (104k eBay pic)
• Collector plate/plaque. 1991 Ernst Enterprises. High gloss image on ceramic made like a picture frame, 7" x 9", framed in dark oak wood. Artist Susie Morton has drawn a life like portrait of Colonel Hogan,Commandant Klink and Sgt. Schultz and they are pictured in their uniforms. Comes in original box with certificate and stand.
• Magnets with pictures from the show. $7.
• T-Shirts with pictures of the show. $15.
• Magnetic version of the Jeep Model Kit. Square box with the parts to make your own plastic car (they pulled one apart). $10.
• Mousepad
• Clock (59k eBay pic)
• Street Sign
  
• Beer Stein - front (10k) back (10k) pics from Cliff. Cliff's site
• The Jimmy Flintstone Model Company made resin cast models in the late 1990s. I'm not sure what characters they've done besides:
  Shultz model (8k eBay pic)
  Klink model (9k eBay pic)

Last updated July 2003 (Version 1.8). It's been 25 years since Bob died.